


Seriously?

by haldoor



Series: Licking [1]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-07
Updated: 2012-09-07
Packaged: 2017-11-13 18:47:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/506563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haldoor/pseuds/haldoor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Warnings/Spoilers:</b> None for the show<br/><b>Disclaimer:</b> Still no ownership rights; still don't earn any cash from writing naughty things about 'em<br/><b>Beta:</b> <span class="ljuser i-ljuser"></span><a href="http://kaige68.livejournal.com/profile"><img class="i-ljuser-userhead"/></a><a class="i-ljuser-username" href="http://kaige68.livejournal.com/"></a><b>kaige68</b> fixed my American English and the rest is all my own fault<br/><b>Summary:</b> Danny finds a list of names on his desk, but does he really want to check Steve's references?<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Seriously?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kaige68](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaige68/gifts).



> This is the follow-up to [](http://kaige68.livejournal.com/profile)[**kaige68**](http://kaige68.livejournal.com/)'s [We Should WHAT?](http://archiveofourown.org/works/505495), and probably won't make a lot of sense without reading that first. This sequel has her approval, although it's not nearly as good as hers. ;-) Oh, and there may be more from either of us, but I make no promises.

Danny frowned, picked up the paper and turned it over, then turned it back, and blinked at the list of names and numbers written in Steve's neat hand. He stood there a minute, thinking. Something occurred to him and he gripped the paper tightly and made his way into Steve's office, barely pausing in the doorway as Kono made her way out.

"Excuse me," he offered and shut the door on her curious expression.

"What is this?" Danny held up the paper, writing-side facing Steve, who looked up from his desk and, seeing the paper, smiled like he'd just left a recipe for cookies on Danny's desk.

"It's the list of references."

"References?" Danny asked, with the sinking feeling that they were exactly what he'd feared.

"Yeah, you know, references?" Steve stood, rounded his desk and leaned on it, casually crossing his arms across his chest. "People who can vouch for my ability in bed."

"You are kidding, right?" was all Danny could manage.

Steve shrugged. "Thought you might feel better if you had it confirmed."

Danny took a breath, went to speak, but suddenly found he had no words.

"Come on, Danny. Cops like background. There's some background for you. All you have to do is pick up the phone and ask a few questions."

Danny blinked stupidly for a moment. Steve had to be jerking him around. "You seriously expect me to call _all_ these people and ask if you had sex with them?"

Steve still looked way too amused. "You don't have to call _all_ of them. Maybe just two or three. Unless you want to check with all of them, that is. No one's going to deny it, if that's what you're thinking. And it wasn't just to check I'd had sex with them; it was how good it was, remember?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Only Steve could be so arrogant about his prowess. Danny looked at the seven names on the list again and decided the only way to deal with this was to play Steve at his own game. "Only one of these looks to be a woman."

"Relevance, Danno, relevance."

"What?" Danny looked up at last.

"I'm a guy; you're a guy. References from men therefore seem more relevant, don't you think?" Steve had quirked an eyebrow like he was explaining something obvious to a simpleton.

"So who's…" he looked down again, trying to grasp the pronunciation of the female name, "La-keysha? At least, I assume this _is_ a woman?"

Steve grinned, his eyes taking on a faraway look. "Oh yeah; she's a woman alright."

"Seriously?" Danny wasn't sure he liked the expression he was seeing. "And why is she 'relevant'?"

"Pegging."

Danny held up a hand and looked away, sure he did not want to see what expression Steve was sporting now. "I did not need to hear that."

"You asked for relevance."

Danny could sense the shrug and the smug look. Steve had to be doing this just to embarrass him. He'd call one of these numbers and some straight-as-a-die Navy jerk would yell obscenities down the phone at him the minute he asked something about Steve and sex.

Danny shook his head and finally managed a look at Steve as he backed towards the door. "Okay, I'm just going to go back to my desk now and file some reports."

"You're not going to call?"

"I'll think about it for a while if it'll make you happy. I make no promises." Danny studied Steve's expression again. He certainly appeared serious, but there was no way he could be. "You really slept with this many guys?"

Steve scratched an eyebrow, straightening up away from his desk and rounding it. "There were a few more, but I didn't think they'd talk to you."

"What?" Danny's eyebrows were practically on the ceiling.

Steve frowned and lowered himself into his chair. "Not everyone's so comfortable about talking to cops, and a couple of them insisted they were straight. I didn't get their numbers anyway. Oh, that reminds me..." Steve stood up again and came over to where Danny was still standing in stunned surprise. "This guy here – Frank…" He pointed at the name on the paper. "If a woman answers, I'd suggest you hang up."

Danny tilted his head, wide-eyed, to look up at Steve, who still appeared as sincere as he ever did. Danny could usually spot a bluff a mile off, but he wasn't sensing anything other than Steve's usual frank attitude.

"A woman?"

"Yeah." Steve looked slightly embarrassed. "She doesn't know about his past, and I nearly caused a divorce last time I saw him."

Danny took a step backwards and swallowed hard. He waved the paper and smiled. Why was he even pretending he cared about this? "Ah… maybe I won't call him, then."

Steve screwed up his brows in thought. "Yeah, probably best not to, actually. Although he's probably one of the most qualified on how I can-"

"Okay, right, thank you," Danny cut Steve off before he offered anything more specific that Danny _really_ didn't want to hear. "I will be in my office. Filing reports. And thinking." He smiled tightly and waved the list again, backing out of Steve's office and hurrying back to his own, ignoring Chin and Kono's querying looks from across the room.

There was no way on God's green earth he was calling any of those numbers. This was the biggest con ever; it had to be. Steven J. McGarrett could not have just come leaping and bounding out of the closet like it was the most natural thing in the world for him to do.

Could he?

~//~

**Author's Note:**

> And **Kaige68** has written another part, [Is This a Joke?](http://archiveofourown.org/works/509262), so go forth and read it!


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